One thing after another went wrong yesterday
Problem after problem
Stress after stress
Until I thought ‘this is ridiculous, what on earth is going on?’

So I sat back and closed my eyes, dropped deep within and connected once again to source. It’s easy to do this at any point of the day because that connection is strong and sure from my daily practice. I asked myself why the dishwasher is broken, the cold room has flooded, and many other less and more serious issues that them. And the words that came to me in my silence were,

BREAKDOWN or BREAKTHROUGH?

And in that instant I got it
It was all meant to be like this
All of the stress
And what was I supposed to learn from it?
What lessons was it all showing me?
What was I not currently seeing, to make the quantum keep giving me more to wake me up to?

A deeper understanding became known in that moment
And I smiled as the old broke away to allow the new to shine forth
Then I remembered that I’d written a blog called ‘Breakdown or Breakthrough’ a couple of years ago (which you can read here) and I laughed at how cyclical life is; i’d been here before!

Then this morning as I quickly flicked through my Facebook notifications I came across a beautiful post from one of my teachers and in the comments was the following quote from Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche (he came to the UK from Tibet in the 60’s with Akong Rinpoche who married Dom and I). And it makes so much sense when we learn to live in TRUST:

We cannot control the flow of life, and when we try to that is when we struggle. Let go and TRUST, have faith that it is all going to be ok. Find an inner state of faith: whatever that means to you, and radiate that frequency into your surroundings and whole life. That is ultimately the key to life, but it’s not easy for us humans to stop trying to micro-manage! We want things THIS way and THAT way, why can’t it go OUR way?! And create so much stress for ourselves in the process.

And it’s like this also when we stop drinking/drugging/binge-eating, it is a leap of faith into the unknown. It’s scary because we’ve never been here before but there is something deep within us that KNOWS this is what we want, and it all comes down to just one thing: TRUST in yourself, in the language of your heart.

So today you will find me letting go of the drama and allowing life to unfold in the beautiful way it is supposed to without me holding on for dear life trying to change what cannot be changed. And do you know what? I feel much better already….

*this blog was first published in February 2017

Member Quote Of The Day.

In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum: