Breakdown Or Breakthrough?

I can easily kid myself that I am ok.
And it is my body that will let me know that I’m not.
Last week I was hit with a cold, and I knew it was because I’ve been pushing myself to be able to have a weeks holiday. And as I watched our episode of Three In A Bed last week I remembered the pain I was in during filming: I’d quite literally manifested myself a pain in the neck!!
Filming was of course stressful as we wanted it to go well, being propelled into the nations homes.
Clouds Above the UK
I breath well.
I meditate daily.
I do yoga.
But still I feel stress when the chips are down.
And do you know what…we all do, it’s normal!
And I see this stress as a reminder:
“Look after yourself!”
“Meditate everyday!” 
And if I didn’t I know I wouldn’t be able to cope.

So we arrived in Spain on Monday for a week of relaxation, and I am not relaxed! In fact I am poolside on my computer writing this!
And after 3 hours sleep (our flight was at 6am) we arrived, unpacked, went to the supermarket and cooked a delicious dinner. I didn’t even really sit down!
I can feel how tightly spun I am and know it’s going to take a few more days to really unwind and let go fully into holiday mode.

Admittedly it’s been an epic year.
Winning an award, being on mainstream TV, two new members of staff, two new yoga teachers, Dom’s first recipe book selling like wild fire, and finally we are having a holiday.

Eyes Wide Open

And the signs keep coming that a cycle has been completed and newness is all around me. My addictions program is rebranding soon, we finally had our TV debut after waiting a whole year! (we filmed last September), and now it is time to retreat myself this month. EVERYTHING is changing; I can feel myself withdrawing from teaching yoga for the time being; I have an expanding desire/need to spend time on my own everyday in meditation/contemplation; I feel a real urgency to write my new book and to top it all off my beloved crystal mala broke!

Broken Mala

In fact not only did it break, but the day before a wrist mala also tumbled to the floor and had me scrabbling on my knees rescuing rudraksha beads from under the sofa.
I use my mala everyday in meditation to count mantras. There are 108 beads which you pass through the fingers of your left hand, and the repetition of the mantra holds your mind in the present moment. I bought my crystal mala in India nearly 10 years ago and it has been blessed by HH Karmapa. It is very dear to me but I can for sure see how it is holding some very old (and outdated) energy of mine.

The meaning of when your mala breaks is the end of a karmic cycle, and quite often a personal breakthrough. And I guess it depends on whether you are a ‘breakdown or breakthrough’ type of person!

I am always of a half-full belief, and although sad to not be in the energy of the old mala interestingly a new one had entered my life less than a week before.
Two friends and fellow female entrepreneurs have recently collaborated:
Karen makes gorgeous jewellery and I’ve admired her collections for a while but I don’t really wear much jewellery; I generally only wear something that is yoga/Buddhist related.
We had a conversation earlier in the year about mala’s and the 108 beads and unexpectedly she has created a new range, with the first piece having 108 stones!
Added to that she has joined forces with a local charity which Esther runs. The Square Peg is a hub for families with autistic children and those with special needs, and every piece of the ‘Perseverance’ range has 10% donated to the charity. On the back of the silver circle in the centre of the necklace are the words:Jo Wearing Her New Mala


Something massively resonated with me and I felt as if the necklace had been made for me! It was an absolute no brainer to purchase! And then just a few days later my old mala broke…well it was all meant to be wasn’t it 😉

Copyright: Jo De Rosa September 2015

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