Looking back it is like viewing someone else’s life
Of course I recognise myself
But
There is not one cell in my body that is the same now
For
It takes seven years for every single cell in your body to regenerate
So
I am a very different person today to who I was on 14th October 2012 when I took my last drink

However I think the biggest change in seven years is my relationship to craving

Whereas back then I was totally controlled by it
Now it is like the external fuel tank of a spaceship which has broken away from the main craft and has parachuted into the safety of the sea; it is still there sometimes but with so much distance between me and it, there is no reaction or uncontrollable desire any longer. Yet I have no regrets, quite the contrary; I needed the propulsion of the addiction to launch me to where I am here now, seven years later.

And here lies a wonderful paradox; whereas I used to feel controlled by substance addiction, it is the very letting go of the need for anything that has set me totally free;

The more we WANT from life
The more we take from the field
The more we deplete ourselves and our environment

Turn that around and want nothing
Take nothing
And there is no depletion whatsoever
What is left is who you really are
That which needs nothing and desires zilch
It is gentle, peaceful, loving
And with the energy turned 180 degrees, now it is all about

WHAT CAN I GIVE TO THE FIELD

Because I have discovered within myself everything that I was ever searching for
Dropped into the very essence of who I am; the changeless
And once you become aware of that which creation is born from, there can be no hunger for anything else; craving drops, greed dissolves, and what remains is pure awareness.

THIS IS WHAT I WISH TO REFLECT TO THE WORLD

…and ironically the opposite of craving
But what I realise now is that my main life theme has been to work this conundrum out
Turn craving on its head
And then show others the path to liberation

I never knew seven years ago what a journey sobriety would be
Could never have guessed where I’d end up
And just how free we can be