We have begun the journey, are off the starting blocks, and can never go back to the beginning. We have already woken up.

When we move away from the yellow circle (see image) we can never return to the reality where we didn’t know that self-realisation was possible. We cannot un-know.

The colours are random, and simply a way of explaining the different stages we move through on our journey. Many of my clients will recognise this image as it is how I explain what they can expect to experience on their own journeys to freedom. I have even written a blog about this before, but with a different energy about it. Today I really want you to understand the TRANSITION period that you are in, and that you have ALREADY started, just by reading this and being here.

YELLOW: We are asleep. We haven’t yet bumped into QS or information like it. We feel stuck and confused, and have no idea that change is possible. This is even pre-denial. This person is not ready for any change (I’m sure we all know people like this and have been here ourselves at some point). THIS IS NOT YOU NOW.

RED: The denial stage. “There is nothing wrong with me”, “My drinking is not as bad as John’s, Jo’s, David’s, Annabelle’s.”, “I don’t have a problem, I just like to have a drink now and again. I don’t get up in the morning and drink after all”, “Sugar isn’t that bad for you”, “Everyone eats/drinks like this”, “I’m having fun”. There is a real charge of emotion here because deep within there is already a subconscious voice that is ready to wake up, but the conscious mind is far from being ready so we fight our inner light at every opportunity.

GREEN: Eyes open for the first time, “could there be a different way?”, looking around and waking up to the fact that life could actually be different. A door has slightly opened and we are poking our head out; not yet ready to step outside, but taking it all in, breathing sober air for the first time before we recoil back into our small addicted world.

BLUE: Seeking a solution. We go to AA meetings, join QS, read books, do a retreat, detox, we are now searching for how to find sobriety. This stage is very active, excited, scared, we are ready to jump into a new reality and gather as much information as we can.

ORANGE: The ‘dry drunk’. Sober but struggling. It’s difficult, we feel we are missing out, we still want to be doing that which we know is destroying us. So much turmoil because we have the information but it hasn’t dropped yet. This is the place we can get stuck in when we are not meditating, for it is the meditation that changes the brain and allows for the shift to the next stage to happen.

PURPLE: Freedom. The struggle ceases, the new information drops deep within you and you step into the reality where you were never addicted. You get it, and the addiction is GONE. There is no trace of it, no pining no whinging or complaining, for you are free. You realise that you have just released all of the problems, and have become who you were always meant to be. When you glimpse this for the first time, no one can ever take it away from you; you now know it is possible, and your job is to STABILISE this belief.

Those in QS are somewhere between blue and purple; this is the transition period. Some stay at purple permanently (me, the QS Guides and many others in the programme), whilst others bounce from blue, through orange, to purple, back to blue, orange, blue, orange, purple, orange, purple. BUT NEVER BACK TO GREEN, RED, YELLOW; you cannot un-know what you’ve learnt about yourself in meditation. It doesn’t just go away, you’ve made an eternal shift.

The length of time we remain in the transition period is variable, and I would say down to how committed your meditation practice is. We’ve had the QS five-day residential retreat this week, where participants met three people (other than me) that have been through the programme and have stable sobriety. Each one meditates daily and puts their sobriety down to this fact. I watch day after day those that are struggling admit that they have allowed their practice to flounder, and advise day after day to get on your cushion (remember the ‘arse on cushion’ blog/testimonial?).

I guess what I really want to say today is that,

1. You gotta do the work. Gotta get arse on cushion daily, for it is this act which brings you back to yourself over and over again. QS and FREEDOM in sobriety is about truth, honesty and authenticity. Meditation is the direct route to your heart, each day you sit with what you got; sometimes it’s easy / joyful / full of bliss, and other days it’s shitty and difficult. BUT YOU DO IT EVERYDAY to stabilise staying true to yourself as your new default.
2. You’ve got to experience the transition period, but once you have begun to wake-up YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO SLEEP; you cannot UN-KNOW what you have discovered about yourself in your heart. You NEVER GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING!!!! And this is such a positive, something to hold on to.

YOU have entered the pinball machine time of your life; you will never be the ball waiting to go into play, you are on the table being pinged about, and with practice you WILL win the game; you WILL step into the purple circle for the last time, and when you do all of the other colours / circles / possibilities fade away; YOU WILL HAVE TRANSCENDED ADDICTION altogether.

And it is possible for YOU
It is available to all of us
And once you understand the game you can play it much easier
No more beating yourself up
You can pinpoint where you are on the journey of transitioning into your new life, and realise that the ones that are already free have been exactly where you are now. In this sense you are not different, you are no less than those that have gone before; we have ALL been plunged along the scale, back and forth, back and forth, until POP we get spat out the other side.
And then there is stillness
An expanse of silence and space
This is what freedom feels like
You have arrived
Welcome to your new home…..