The second week of the QS tour sees me driving around southern UK, rather than public transporting it as I did last week. Tuesday was the first meeting of the week and by 1pm my car still hadn’t come back from the garage. Nothing to worry about really because I could drive Dom’s car, but as the morning sped on I became more and more anxious because I’ve never driven Dom’s car ever, I don’t like motorway driving, and I’ve not driven to Margate before.

‘Why would Jo get stressed about that?’ you may be thinking, and this all goes back to 2006 when I was involved in an car accident. I was in Thailand, driving to work on a back street in Lipa Noi when a Thai motorcyclist took a corner too fast and smashed into my stationary car. I, unlike him, had time to stop and watch as him slamming into me seemed to happen in  s l o w  motion; it unfolded sooo  s l o w l y.

He was taken to hospital unconscious
I was a quivering wreck
And driving has never been the same again

It took me literally years to get back into a car again, and I held a new belief after the experience; that if you drove somewhere, and survived, you were lucky. I began to EXPECT people to crash into me, and nobody wanted me to be a passenger in their car. Eventually I bought another car (2008) and the stress did ease off somewhat, but I was still an absolute mess when any speed was involved; I HATED motorway driving.

Then in 2011 it all resurfaced when Dom and I were involved in a very minor accident on the M6 on route to Scotland. It was like a scab had been ripped off and this familiar wound was exposed again. Things got so bad that year that I began counselling for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and I remember that my OCD had reached a climax at that time too; I have a distinct memory of checking if my car was locked around ten times in the car park of the counsellor as I arrived for one of my appointments.

Looking back I can see the association with speed, for it was the speed that the motorcyclist was doing that created the problem; if he had of been going slower, he would have been able to stop. Then on the M6 that neural network was connected again; MOTORWAYS ARE DANGEROUS said my brain.

Today my car is a huge 4×4
Dom’s car is a teeny sports variety
I feel safe in my 4×4, I can see everything from my high vantage point
Dom’s car is low to the floor with the smallest window out the back, and wing mirrors the size of matchboxes

So my stress levels rose on Tuesday
1pm came and went and I realised that all of the manifestation energy I was mustering was not going to work
I had to leave now or be late for the Margate workshop
I was pissed off
Scared
The scab was beginning to peel off

Yet on some level I absolutely KNEW that this was how it was supposed to be
I WAS BEING FORCED TO DO SOMETHING THAT I WAS UNWILLING TO DO
I had missed yoga class the week before because I was too scared to drive Dom’s car

We ALL have our achilles heel
We ALL have something in our lives that triggers us
We ALL have a weakness
This is mine
This is where I feel the most vulnerable

I could see the quantum doing its magic as I drove Dom’s car on the 260 mile round trip
I began tense and stressed
I ended relaxed, calm and putting my foot down
As I collapsed into bed Tuesday night I was proud and pleased with myself
THANK YOU QUANTUM
For forcing my hand

And now I am of course in a new reality
One where I drive Dom’s car
…to yoga, to the supermarket, on the motorway

And I see how I use the QS approach in everything that I do in life
Choosing to jump into realities where I can do anything
And it was a truly beautiful evening in Margate
Another group of amazing people
It was so worth TRANSCENDING my driving stress by SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT
You simply cannot side-step this part of the process
You have to FEEL it
You have to SIT WITH it
You have to BE OK with it
And only then can you reach the other side

Addiction shows us the way
It has been the greatest teacher in my life
We are lucky you know, to get to learn how to deal with it
For then you use this knowledge in all corners of your life, and do the most amazing things because of it
And the only question now this morning is:
Which car shall I take to Oxford later….

Tour Update.

Another great workshop, and again there is momentum to set a group up in Margate. We are all so excited about this happening, so watch this space for more news on Quantum Sobriety Socials. Thank you to Richard, pictured here with me, for sharing your time and story so generously.