Why We Need To Stop People Pleasing 🤔


There seems to be a commonality with many in our community, of people pleasing. We say what we think the other wants to hear, we dress the way society says is ‘right’, and we act to keep the peace.

But why do we disregard our own needs for the sake of the other? And what do we believe we are achieving by staying and acting small?

I know that this is a huge deal for me, something that has been a pattern throughout my life. I mentioned it in our private community recently and there was an outpouring of mutual feelings and concerns, and a request for me to share how I am dealing with this. This blog is it.

I believe this is a spiritual persons problem, which is why so many in the QS community resonate at this level. We are told that to be spiritual we have to be selfless, but when does the line get crossed into voiceless?

We get so used to putting the other first that we forget how to even do this for ourselves, swallowed up by our relentless need to be liked and accepted; our worth then comes into question and all of a sudden we don’t feel enough, ever.

Couple this also with the fact that when we make ourselves small we are preventing the other person from growing; they don’t get the opportunity to address their insecurities. We get scared of our own voice and back away from all confrontation, and I know that this does not support our evolution. So what do we do about it?

Once we have dropped from our heads down into our hearts, we begin to connect with our truth. But this is only the first step;
The next is to TRUST that voice
And then SPEAK it out loud

This can be uncomfortable if it is not what the other wants to hear
It can be difficult for both parties
The alternative is for you to act less than you are
And the other to not hear the truth of the moment
No one wins
Everyone loses
And this is the conundrum of the spiritual warrior in this day and age
We HAVE to translate the voice of our heart and speak it out loud, if we are to be at peace.

So drop down now
Do you TRUST yourself?
Are you willing to upset the apple cart in the name of your truth?
How much of yourself are you prepared to lose?

It is time to activate your bravery dear warrior
You are being called into spiritual action
To find balance between the feminine receptive honesty of our soul, and the masculine deliverance of its message is the work you are being asked to bear

Find compassion in your honesty
Know that you are serving the other with TRUTH rather than a LIE
Even if it hurts
Can you do that?

We are supporting each other within this community to find our authentic voices
Step into our power
And live life a new way
Please do join us….

*this blog was originally published in November 2017

Member Quote Of The Day.

In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum:

Yesterday was still good altho I’m poorly 
but drinking doesn’t even enter my mind 
Residential Retreat and Online Member

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