Ooops
I may have got myself addicted to cacao 😮
And, therefore, energetically had to deal with it so blocked it
Apologies to everyone that has been waiting so long
But I’ve sorted myself out
And, therefore, normal service with our cacao business is about to resume, I just know it
Lol!

I have been addicted to many things
It is my NATURE to do so
Over the years the substances have had a violent effect on me; cocaine, cigarettes, alcohol and codeine
Then the substance got more subtle, yet the compulsive BEHAVIOUR around them continued; guarana, caffeine, chilli, fish and chips, and ceremonial grade cacao.

I have lied
I have cheated
I have stolen

All to get my drug of choice
EVEN THE SACRED CACAO
I would sneak into the kitchen when Dom wasn’t around and take a block of cacao and hide it in my office. He had no idea that I was scoffing it daily; I hid this addiction like I concealed all of the others, and even though the substance wasn’t harmful, I was ashamed of my conduct around it.

I wrote a blog back in the first week of January, on day 126 of my 365 day blogging challenge (today is day 363!) about the very last time I ate fish and chips, and totally disgusted myself. The blog is called ‘I’ve Given Myself The Most Awful Hangover I’ve Had In Ages’ and you can read it here.

The thing about addiction and the substances that we get compelled to consume is that they are teachers. When I was snorting huge amounts of cocaine and popping copious pills in the 1990’s I was reaching a certain ‘high’
I wanted more and more of that buzz
Then
I began to meditate and reached a similar kind of ecstasy
And I realised that the drugs have shown me the way
They had taught my brain what it was capable of experiencing so that I could do it on my own.

And this is exactly what the cacao has done
She took me on a journey for the last few years
Into my heart

She connected me to a part of myself that I had denied
And opened the door to so much
I’ve learnt what I was supposed to from her
So she withdrew
To show me that I didn’t need her anymore
That I am ok alone
Deeply and permanently connected to my truth
(once you reach truth you will never turn your back and walk the other way)

Just like that the addiction dropped
Freedom entered
And I transcended yet another cycle of compulsion

So again, I am sorry for the lack of cacao over these past few months
But it had to be this way
And now that the flow of it begins to trickle again
I will only partake in a few ceremonies, rather than the everyday feasting of yesteryear

What is YOUR lesson in your addiction?
What has it taught YOU already?
And what has it got the potential to teach you in the future?

Don’t make any of it wrong
Just see the learning
And of course enjoy an occasional wonderful cup of cacao (soon we hope!)
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