I spent twelve years commuting into central London to the same building everyday, so I know what it’s like to be in the ‘rat-race’. Up at 6am, leave the house at 6.45am, start work at 8am, finish at 6pm, home at 7.30pm, cook dinner, get stoned, have an argument with my then boyfriend, go to bed, up at 6am, leave the house at 6.45am and the whole thing would start again like clockwork.
No wonder I needed to escape at the weekend
I needed a release from the depressing routine of not just mediocrity but ultimately from a life that was slowly killing me; a job that wore me down; a relationship that was unhealthy on every level; and BECAUSE of these two main factors, the drink and drugs that came at the weekend to relieve the dissatisfaction that was coursing through my veins.
I was numbing out on a grand scale; obliterating my mundane reality and taking myself for a few hours to a place where I felt free, at ease and happy. On drugs me and my then partner even liked each other, on drugs there were no problems and I took more and more so that this sense of contentment could last.
But Monday morning always came,
and with it my colourless existence returned
Up at 6am, leave the house at 6.45am, start work at 8am, finish at 6pm, home at 7.30pm, cook dinner, get stoned, have an argument with my then boyfriend, go to bed, up at 6am, leave the house at 6.45am etc…..
Looking back 20 years I can see it wasn’t the drugs that were the problem, it was the job and the relationship; they were the wounds that created the desire to numb out. So change them and I would be well on the way to reinventing myself, which is exactly what I did.
I left the job in April 2000
I left the relationship in 2002
The journey to freedom had begun…..
I then entered a period of my life where I changed a lot of my external situations; moved to Thailand, broke off the engagement to above boyfriend, started working for myself etc.., and immediately discontent lifted and I became happier. The true work had begun and I started to also do the inner work; yoga and meditation which connected me to my essence, my true nature, to source.
And then once you are living from this place it doesn’t matter what day you wake up for there are never any blues…
I love the fact that today is Monday
It means that a new group of people are arriving at the retreat centre.
I love Mondays in the exact same way as Sundays or Thursdays and you will NEVER hear me say ‘thank god it’s Friday‘, for if you are wishing your life away for the weekend you are not living, you are just surviving, and that is not a place I want to be ever again.
So QS is my roadmap to this place of freedom in my heart that YOU can find too. We are ALL meant to live from here; to enjoy every single day of this amazing life, not just the weekends, and I want to show you how to do that. So are you ready to give up the Monday morning blues forever?
*this blog was originally published in September 2016
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