We all feel out of control at times, whether that is with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, mounting debt or shouting at the children.
We will not find peace until we are willing to sit with our demons and allow them in.
Most are not
So they will continue to live on the merry-go-round of high cortisol, bad sleep, worry and depression.
When we give others, or substances, our power we feel small and weak
How could we ever say ‘no’ to this force?
When we’ve given it away and there is no more left for us we are exposed, vulnerable, and susceptible to the next craving (see the left hand side of todays image)
So we must be willing to open the door to the monster and rather than keep giving him your power in a pretty gift box over and over again, welcome him in, make him a cup of tea, refuse his orders and instead sit at the table together and get to know him.
Why is he being a bully?
Why is he being so demanding?
What is the sadness he is trying to cover up?
What is he numbing out from?
Why is he running away?
Being prepared to ask these questions is key to the power shift that will result.
The monster will not be expecting this behaviour from you because you’ve always been so compliant. And he will try to trick you too, he’s devious. You have to be ready for everything that he has up his sleeve.
Meditation is mind training
You sit on your cushion everyday and learn how to discipline your mind BEFORE THE TRIGGERS COME IN, so that when they do you are prepared.
Karmapa said last weekend that many view Buddhist meditation as “spiritual massage”; a relaxing and enjoyable pastime, when in fact it is more like going to the gym to train. He said,
“Mind training resembles a series of exercises for our hearts and minds, and not simply relaxation. Our habits and emotions run deep and some are negative, so they are not that easily altered. The process of changing bad habits and getting into new and more constructive ones is not that easy. It entails work and experiencing the feeling of being sore as if we had engaged in hard physical labour.
We need to have a plan in place for how we will deal with any given situation. If we let the mind go where it wants to go, it will turn stubborn. There is a saying in Tibetan: ‘Appearances are skilled at deception and the mind is like a small child following after them.’ Instead of letting mind be fooled by appearances, we should take care of it like a small child, not letting it do whatever it wants; rather, we should examine carefully to discover the state of our mind.”
We know that exercising the body is important for it to be healthy, so too is the case with our minds. It is commonly accepted also that having a healthy body will PREVENT illness, and it is this point that I’d like to make today;
Our meditation practice
TEACHES US HOW TO DEAL WITH CRAVINGS
BEFORE THEY HAPPEN
We repeat the technique in meditation so that when/if it actually happens we are ready, we know what to do, there is a plan. We have visited the place we fear over and over again during our practice, looked it straight in the eye and kept our power for ourselves. It is at this point that we grow, as if we were 10 feet tall, as we chase that craving out of the door and tell it there is no place for it here any longer. Just watch is slink away with its tail between its legs, and never bother you again!
Take back your power
A gift that is meant just for you…..
*this blog was first published in May 2017
In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum: