I’m Falling Apart 😣


I very rarely get sick
But here I am this week sniffing, coughing, shivering, achy joints and general struggling
It seems that everything is happening at once
Elbow is painful
Thumb is painful
Snot is dripping from me
Sneezing ten to the dozen
Head is pounding etc..

I’ve kept going all week because I’ve had to, with appointments that can’t be changed and guests that need attending to. I’ve put on a smile, pushed my way through but then on Friday I very nearly went ahead with a social engagement because I didn’t want to let anyone down.

I realised right then that I needed to step back
Take stock
And have a look at what was going on

Why was I not immediately going into deep self-care
I was in other areas; feeding myself up on smoothies, supplements that I don’t normally take, and litre upon litre of hot water, lemon, ginger and apple cider vinegar.

And then it struck me
The people pleaser urge had risen
I was putting others before myself again

So I made the call
Cancelled the meeting
And stayed in bed

I pondered it all
Got Louise Hay’s book ‘Heal Your Body’ out and began to delve into the causes of my falling apart at the seams….

  • Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences
  • Thumb: Represents intellect and worry
  • Joints: Represent changes in direction in life and the ease of these movements
  • Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
  • Cough: A desire to bark at the world. “See me! Listen to me!”
  • Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.

It all made sense of course
I could see that what I was feeling PHYSICALLY was the manifestation of the stress of the last six months. ‘Too much going on at once’ lol! Eh, hello truth bomb!

What did happily surprise me was my natural desire to eat fresh fruit and veggies, rather than crap
My mind took me back to the late 1990s when after a night of partying, drinking, cocaine, smoking, drinking, all I wanted the following day was a McDonalds. Or when I had a cold back then and would eat crisps and chocolate and feel sorry for myself.
Now the thought fills me with nausea; I WANT to look after myself.
So much has changed already
Yet we don’t really notice
We tend to only see the bad stuff
The positives being forgotten under the weight of self-flagellation

Lighten that load now
See the good
Notice the message
Give yourself whatever you need in this moment

I did that on Friday and yesterday, and will continue into today
Putting my needs first

And this may relate to you in regards to your addiction;
Others cajoling you into their own drama
Friends and family pulling you back to who you used to be, for who you are becoming is too bright for them to bear

The thing is YOU are not going to be happy until you fully embrace who YOU are
The good, the bad, the ugly and un-frigging-believably amazing
And what I have learnt from years of various therapies is that as soon as you recognise what is going on within, you begin the process of releasing it

I did that on Friday morning
The moment I CHOSE to put myself first
Then looked in
ACKNOWLEDGED that it’s been a tough 2017 and that is manifesting itself physically
Yes this year is all about change
Positive change
A little scary maybe
But all meant to be

So today I am out the other side
Still looking after myself
Putting myself FIRST
And do you know what? It feels pretty wonderful….

Member Quote Of The Day.

Read here something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over in our lively private forum:

QS party. Hi everyone I’ve just booked my train tickets! I can’t wait to meet (some of) you. Really excited. Have a lovely day. x
R, Online Member

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