I was jumpy and apprehensive
Only 10 days sober and still suffering from the fatigue of the first few months of sobriety.
I’d packed my uppers and downers: 10g of valium for each nighttime and copious amounts of guarana (natural pure caffeine) for each morning; my staple fix any time I needed to concentrate.
I had so much to prove
Felt like the new kid on the block, even though I’d already been teaching yoga for nearly 12 years back then
I still didn’t really KNOW who I was
Was still living through my eyes, rather than from my heart
I was fixated on what I looked like and how I dressed
Felt the obligation to ‘fit in’, ‘look like everyone else’, and ‘act like a yogi’
This is the wonderful thing about when you do something repetitively (like exhibiting at the Yoga Show for example); you have a reference; you remember what you felt, said, and did the last time and the time before.
Fast forward from 2012 to 2017 and so much has changed
And ALL of those changes come from within
This morning, rather than waking up from a valium-induced sleep by an alarm and dragging myself into the shower and manicly getting ready, I awake early whilst it’s still dark and meditate for an hour before gently moving into my day.This year, unlike the previous six we did NOT book a hotel, but rather an apartment. This means that on arrival into London on the eve of the show we went to the supermarket and stocked up on healthy meals and goodies, we also brought food from home (that wouldn’t have survived until our return).
Mornings have consisted of coconut yoghurt, berries, homemade flapjack and coffee (Dom) / herbal tea (me)
For lunch we have salad (cucumbers and tomatoes from our garden, and leaves from the supermarket), humous, coconut pieces, nuts and water/coconut water
Dinner the first evening was out with family, but Friday night we had spaghetti bolognaise (from home) and last night we had a yummy stir-fry.
Having an apartment, with kitchen, fridge and cooker is a revelation; why on earth haven’t we be doing this all along??!! No more plastic hotel breakfasts for us any more!!
Plus it was the same cost as the hotel we usually use
At the show each day Dom and I set the intention for the individuals that resonate with our message and house to find us. `We don’t shove leaflets in your face or force ourselves on you; who wants or needs that?
We only speak to those that approach us
We don’t even give people leaflets, it is up to them to take one off the table
I gave a talk on Friday, ‘How To Find FREEDOM In Sobriety’
And taught a yoga class yesterday, ‘Yoga For Addiction’
The response was phenomenal and everyone loved the ‘Trigger Free Me’ meditation, and yoga class. What fun we had!
This whole weekend has been about realising how far I’ve come
Understanding just what is possible
And I’m excited about the next five years;
What is next?
Where am I off to now?!
I am enjoying this uncharted territory
Revelling in the unknown
I don’t need to feel ‘safe’ any longer, as I know that the magic lives within uncertainty
So please don’t be afraid
Get on your cushion and get to know the unknown
Become familiar with ‘beingness’ without form/body
Connect to who you are underneath your thoughts, your hopes, what you see and hear
And realise what is beyond
That is the LOVE vibration
Member Quote Of The Day.
In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum:
L, Residential Retreat and Online Programme