The resistance had been palpable for months now
I wanted to let go of ego
But something was pulling me back from the edge

The frustration of this situation had settled in within my arm
Not budging beyond my elbow, and presenting itself as ‘tennis elbow’
I knew that once I let go the pain would slide downwards and out of each of my fingers, to be gone forever

Then I was given a cold
Beginning with what could only be described as what I had suffered with so many times in my youth; tonsillitis. Yet I’d had my tonsils out 30 years ago, so how could I have white spots on my ‘tonsils’?

The pain in my throat each time I swallowed took me back to my teen years
Unsure of myself
Unheard
Stuttering
Being and saying whatever people wanted to hear, so that I felt accepted and part of something

I knew that I was going through a process
That this ‘cold’ was really an opportunity to learn more about myself

And it really forced my hand the fifth night, when I’d actually thought I was getting better
The energy dropped down into my heart
I began coughing with a catch in my throat that made it hard to get to sleep
I tossed and turned
Coughing and cursing
Snot filling my nostrils and dripping onto the pillow
‘Why was this happening to me?’

The more I coughed, sneezed and blew my nose, the more awake I felt
How was I going to get to sleep?
My favourite, go-to sleeping position wasn’t working
Now I was fretting and stressing and getting myself into a state
‘Had this cold worked its way down into my chest to form an infection, was I now really really sick?’

I questioned and questioned
Stressed and stressed
Worried and worried

Eventually I lay on my back (I don’t generally sleep on my back)
Put my hand on my heart
And began to channel healing energy into this broken body of mine

At some point I let go
Fell asleep
And continued the journey on the dreamscape

There was a performance
Others were there executing their own expression instinctively and intuitively
I on the other hand was stiff and precise
I could feel the control I was applying, yet also noticed how it was holding me back
So I watched the others fully in flow; how beautiful it was to surrender to the music (it wasn’t music, it was something more celestial than that)

At last
I was ready for my final performance
I took to the stage
Closed my eyes
And allowed my body to move to its own rhythm
Realising that I was allowed to listen to my own inner compass, rather than blindly following a choreographed piece

It was beautiful
A dance of the soul
Source expressing itself
Without any thought
With no trying or force

‘I’ was finally freed
Released from the confines of human expectation
Everything had changed overnight

I awoke physically exhausted from little sleep
Yet spiritually free
What I had thought the night before was the cold reaching my lungs and becoming an infection
Was actually a deeper drop into existence
For I had to reach the depths to reach a new level
Now vibrating on a different frequency
After all whatever was on the fire had to be completely extinguished, before the phoenix could rise

In the morning I knew I’d pushed through what I’d been fighting for many moon cycles
Even in physical pain the connection to love and truth was still there
The worry gone
The fear had vanished
Stress evaporated
I was home

And this is not a state you have to ‘maintain’
For
Why would you need to tryto stay somewhere so open and inviting
Rather
There is no effort to be here
And
It’s easy to walk this path, rather than the one of struggle
I mean
Why would you?
Who would choose that?

So I knew that the physical manifestations of elbow, cold, cough would begin to ebb
I needed them no longer
For I was free…

Member Quote Of The Day:

Read here something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over in our lively private forum:

“Wow! The energy coming off of this book is immense!!

Thanks so much Jo can’t wait to read it
“

 Online Member

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