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Daily Motivation – Week 3

September 30, 2016
5:43 pm

Day 15

The First Hurdle.

It seems almost cruel how easy sobriety is now for me as I guide those with their feet first on the path. The struggle is so great and the understanding not yet quite clear, and I see the newbies stumbling around in their old conditioned thoughts of conflict and drama.
I wish that I could transport you into your mind six or eight months down the line, just for a day, so that you could see how effortless sobriety can be. For once you truly take on board the fact that the internal shifts create the outer changes, you can forge ahead and create the life of your dreams. Just like I have:

Alcohol Addiction to Freedom
Bankruptcy to Financial Security
Abusive Relationship to Loving Marriage
9 to 5 Job to Living My Purpose
Eating Crap to Wanting To Eat Healthily

It’s all possible, all of it.
But ONLY if you first believe it.
And that is the trick, the million dollar question, the conundrum, most peoples sticking point: they don’t believe they can have it.

Successful people believe they can be successful:

The olympic athlete believes in training they can be first over the finish line
The flourishing entrepreneur gets up early everyday to get on top of their business
The musician practices everyday in the belief that they will master the new piece

Each have a formula for success whether that be practicing the piano for an hour each morning, training at the gym every day, or getting into the office by 9 to get on top of things.

Successfully sober people have it easy because they’ve worked out their formula and life gets easier and easier, and then once you’re at this point you’ll be looking at those just starting out thinking, as I do, how cruel it is when you meet your first challenge.

In our newfound sobriety we also need a formula that works for us, a plan; we need to get organised and prepared!

And once we have an outline of what we are going to do instead of drinking / drugging / binge-eating we can easefully fall into this framework and glide into our new sober life.

It’s all about creating a new habit, and then that habit becomes your new normal = and totally beautifully effortless.

We’ve all done this so many times before:

Driving a new car
Speaking a new language
Living in a new house
Holidaying in a different country for the first time
A new job

The list is endless of things we’ve done in our lives that at first were uncomfortable and difficult, but once eased into, effortless and normal. This is how expansion happens; we keep creating new normals but they are bigger and bigger, more and more out of our original comfort zone. And at some point we look back and realise that we have become almost a new person, and the old you that struggled so much is a distant memory.

AND TO GET THERE WE MUST MIX WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADYDOING WHAT WE WANT TO DO / ARE WHERE WE WANT TO BE

So that they can lift us up.
But we have to be willing to stretch ourselves.
To grow.
To change.
To evolve.

But you have already said yes to that, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. So welcome to the community, welcome to the future, welcome to freedom in sobriety….

Day 16

Are You In Alignment With Sobriety?

Our experience in the world is decided on what we believe it can be, so if you are not experiencing what you want in life then there is some ‘inner’ work that needs attending to.
If something makes you feel good = do more of that
If something puts you off balance = why do you have it in your life?

We all know people who are struggling
We all know people who are coasting
We all know people who are thriving

Which means that we all know that all three potentials are possible, right?
So what are you in alignment with?
Struggle, mediocrity, or ease?

And today, right now, PICK which state you want to be in, and here is the thing:

CREATE IT.

From the inside.
Shift your energy (the ‘inner’ work)
To affect your outer reality.

This is what will transform our world to one of abundance and effortless contentedness, and the easiest way of constructing the life of your dreams is through meditation. To connect to your inner world, uncover your core beliefs, and allow them to grow and flourish in this fertilised mindful environment.

What are YOU going to create today?
And do you want guidance as so how to navigate your internal story?
For there is a whole community waiting to support you in being the best you possibly can be, and who are very much looking forward to sharing the journey to freedom…

Day 17

What Are You Choosing?

We all know a hopeless drunk who doesn’t seem to want to better themselves.
We all know a hopeful drunk who does.
We all know someone who is searching for the right path to sobriety.
We all know someone who is following the path and learning the route.
We all know someone who is sober but believes it has to be a lifelong struggle.
And you know at least me that has got to the Holy Grail of freedom in sobriety.

So you have at least six choices when it comes to over-drinking (or over-anything).
Six potentials.
Six realities that you can choose.
What are you choosing?

If you have a look at the picture below of the lanes of traffic; to have a safe and effortless journey you have to choose a lane to drive in, right?

We all know that!
So why don’t we apply it to the decisions that we make.
Why would we say,

“I want to stop drinking”

And then allow a voice in our heads to say,

“Go on have just one”

When we know full well that the ‘just one’ leads to the ‘just the whole bottle’.

It’s like driving in between two lanes of traffic, with two wheels in each lane, not committing to either one:
AND WE WONDER WHY WE ARE STRUGGLING!

Freedom in Sobriety is all about full commitment to the decision to be sober.

No doubt.
No second guessing.
Both wheels / feet.
COMMITMENT.
And it is ONLY with full commitment that FREEDOM can open up.
And dare I say it, it becomes easy….

Day 18

Who’s Got Your Sober Back?

Hungover?

How’s your head this morning?

Are you waking up full of beans and proud of not getting hammered last night, or do you feel like you’ve been run over by a train? Had you planned not to drink but the ‘urge’ took a hold of you?

We are surrounded by so much conditioning; in the form of it being ‘difficult’ to stop drinking/bingeing, being bombarded in the media of how cool drinking is in the form of our favourite movies/series etc, and of being surrounded by people who are doing it and having ‘fun’.

But what happens when it’s not ‘fun’ for you any more yet your friends and family have no idea what you’re going through. Maybe nobody knows the full extent of the problem so you feel totally alone in wanting to make radical changes. Sometimes it can feel very isolated when all around you are necking booze and sugar without an iota of understanding of how that makes you feel.
But lets face it nobody ever said,

“I wish I was hungover this morning”

And was the hangover worth it?
Can you remember everything that you did, said, implied?
Is the wasted day doing nothing, and feeling like crap, the best use of your time?
Can you be the most you can be in this state to your partner, your children, those that depend on you?
Can you stay sane doing this day in day out, week in week out?

What if I told you that there is a community of people who are changing the rules around sobriety.

Who are making it cool.

Breaking the conditioning down and seeing it for what it really is: POISON
Supporting each others’ recovery from the brainwashing that has covered our globe and taken us so far away from our truth that we find filling ourselves with toxins and shouting at each other ‘fun’.

This new community is based on connection, love and truth.

Where unconditional support is given to those that are ready to jump into the new paradigm, and where there are many waiting on the new shore with arms outstretched. But this is only for those that are willing to leave behind the old patterns and forge a new reality, with a community that understand without question how you feel.

If these words pull at your heart then you are one of us.
And you are denying yourself by holding back and taking that next drink; taking yourself further away from truth, rather than towards the light that is in your heart.

Practically the following conversation took place last month and one member had the breakthrough they had dreamt of; she is now enjoying her ‘new’ sober life more than she ever thought possible….

I’d like to share something very special with you today. It is a post that appeared yesterday in the Quantum Sobriety online course forum, and a humungous great big shift by one member…..

Day 19

Please Don’t Feel Sorry For Me.

I’d like to share something very special with you today. It is a post that appeared yesterday in the Quantum Sobriety online course forum, and a humungous great big shift by one member…..

” Thanks for your suggestions a few weeks ago about how to enjoy being sober at my own wedding.
Just wanted to say that I’m back after my wedding and honeymoon and I’m extremely grateful that I did not cave to the (enormous) expectation from others, and society, that I would drink during this time. Every day in our wedding hotel there was a fresh bottle of champagne, when I went to get my hair done they had strawberries and fizz, I was handed a glass after the ceremony (despite them knowing I don’t drink and me supplying my own non alc options), good friends had arranged ‘surprise’ champagne (despite me not having drunk for 16 months – they, like most people it seems thought I’d drink on my wedding day) and on it went. Our culture struggles to imagine people celebrating without alcohol and when I said I didn’t drink people said ‘not even today?’. Again on honeymoon there were bottles of fizz in rooms, one hotel’s ‘mini bar’ was a row of full sized spirit bottles and I felt very much an oddity being teetotal!
I just wanted to say how grateful I am to this group which has given me the accountability and strength, knowing this community is out there, to not only do these things completely sober but also to enjoy them! Thank you xx “

Firstly congratulations to this member for wading through each and every temptation that was laid at her path, and secondly can you believe what us Quantum Explorers are up against; what deviants society believes us to be to want to be ourselves.

WHY oh WHY is it so scary for drinkers to watch us find freedom?

For all we are doing is coming home.
Home to our natural state.
How we were born.
That is all.
And it’s not scary, it’s actually exhilarating and I look forward to the day that we are accepted by society as our amazing true selves. And perhaps it is only our brilliance that drinkers are threatened by, for our natural radiance is blinding.

There is no need to cover yourself up.
Numb out from life.
Switch off from the energy of the earth.
And if you choose to fill your body with a poison, I cannot stop you, but please do not try to persuade me to do the same to mine.

ESPECIALLY on special days like weddings and birthdays, when I want to enjoy each gorgeous moment; remember every gesture; recall without exception all the words spoken. These exceptional events are ruined not enhanced by drink, so please don’t find my behaviour strange.

I believe myself to be the lucky one;
Waking up sober,
Remembering every detail,
For I don’t ever have to bring a drink to my lips again.
And that makes me feel like I’ve won the jackpot.

So there is no need to feel sorry for me,
Don’t worry I’m not missing out,
It is you that I worry about,
For my abstinence seems to have put you in the spotlight.

Day 20

I Don’t Want To Be Normal.

I Don't Want To Be Normal

We live in a society where mediocrity is typical, where getting up in the morning and going to work that you don’t enjoy is the accepted norm, where putting up with a relationship or marriage that is not fulfilling you is commonplace, and where sinking a bottle of wine every night is what our culture deems acceptable.

I bought into all of that for the beginning of my adulthood, then began to break away from the mould and started to shape the life that I actually wanted. That process started in April 2000 when I left a secure job that I had been doing already for 12 years, sold my home, rehomed my cat, pretty much gave up all of my possessions and moved to Thailand.

I remember so clearly as I said goodbye to workmates the look on their faces and the words they spoke,

“Wow Jo you’re so brave”

But it didn’t seem brave to me, it was a calling of my soul and how could I shut that out? Plus HR had told me that I always could come back to my job if things didn’t work out. But I knew that they would, I knew that I was never coming back, knew that there was something else that I was supposed to be doing. And even though I was in a bad place back then in all areas of my life, I had heard the call and was ready to take my first quantum leap of faith.

There are many who work the 9 to 5 the whole of their adult lives, never experiencing the pulse of their purpose and that to me is like being dead; dead to the richness of life; dead to the flow of potential, forever stunted.

But you do have to go through a rebirth on this exciting journey; the dying of the old in the chrysalis as the butterfly emerges completely transformed.

From that moment when I walked out of the doors of my stable job, sold my flat and went mortgageless and became possession free I said YES to life.

I was reborn.
It was time of expansion.
And a journey that would last a lifetime.

Now take alcohol, sugar and cigarettes.
There has been a huge turnaround with smoking in the last decade and I predict the same thing happening first for sugar and then alcohol too. Sadly we are a conditioned society and believe what our government, our newspapers and the TV tells us and are bombarded with negative messages all of the time. And it takes forward thinkers to break away from the mould and decide that they are not going to fit in to a mediocre life; that is you.

That is why you are reading this.
YOU have decided at soul level that you no longer want to be the living dead.
YOU want to live fully.
And I want to take you to that place, to show you how liberating it is to honour your brilliance rather than curl up in a ball and merely survive.

Sugar kills and makes you fat.
Drugs kill and shut you off from truth.
Alcohol kills and anaesthetises you to your inner light.

And it is time my friend to truly outgrow these substances that have been pulling you down and suffocating your innate wisdom.
Don’t accept normal any longer.
Just because everyone else is unhappy in their job, relationship, daily wine drinking, monotony of life, doesn’t mean that YOU have to do the same. For it is all in YOUR control and the very first thing that you have to do is believe that:

a) It’s possible (and it is believe me!)
b) You deserve it (and you really really do)

Then you take responsibility.
You quantum jump into a new reality.
And there is a whole community of people who have got your back in doing so.
And we’d all love you to join us…..

Day 21

When You Know It’s Working.

The Astounding Shift

Transcending addiction comes in stages, which is what we were talking about last night on the private webinar, with four steps forwards and one back; ever edging in the right direction but with the occasion freak out!

And these steps are sometimes huge but most of the time they are so subtle that you don’t even realise they are happening. But build they surely are and then all of a sudden, whoooooosh!, you just had an astounding shift. It’s like hiking up a mountain; each little step doesn’t seem so monumental but then you reach the top and realise that you just accomplished something colossal.

I see this everyday in the QS programme; the celebrations, the commiserations, the highs and the struggles. What is important is cutting through the conditioning that we are taught all the way through life,
“It’s difficult”
“Take an anti-depressant”
“Just have one”
“You’ll always pine for a drink”
“One won’t hurt”
And once someone can literally fight their way through these layers and stumble upon themselves, at soul level, through the journeying meditations that they are led on, they shift. And at this deep place within, when they are in communication with their truth there is an opportunity to transform and it is the most beautiful phenomenon to watch in a person.

Such a metamorphosis was witnessed in the online group last week and I asked Theresa to write about her experience for it is great for you to hear about my own life each day, but to hear anothers account is powerful beyond measure. Thank you Theresa and congratulations on your astounding shift….

Quote’s of the Week

In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum:

“Excellent evening- wood fired pizza with my friends in the pub.. So much less expensive when you’re AF…. and had such a laugh” V, Online Course Member, UK

“Feel so full of life and love. I am flying free. Feeling amazing, thank you Jo! You have taught me how to deal with so many different aspects of my life through self love and meditation.” L, Online Course Member, UK

“I was just thinking this morning about the lucky lucky people on retreat with Jo this week and remembering our retreat with *** in August. Thursday was my breakthrough, during forgiveness meditation. I felt so free I got up and danced around the studio after meditating!” D, Online Course Member, Ireland

“Thank you and thank you for creating this unique and life changing program. Picking up the phone that day to call you was one of the best decisions of my life and my soul knew that if I did, that would be it. I never told you this before but the first time I came across your writing , a few years ago, it blew me away. I thought “that woman speaks out the truth , with ease” and I emailed you straight away to say loved that writing and you said then that you had done this journey and wanted to help others do the same. I think you had just recently got Inner Guidance…. So for me Jo De Rosa represented truth, but apart from a months break from alcohol , I wasn’t ready for your world , but I friggin am ready NOW. The only thing I needed to do was quit the bloody alcohol, the rest will follow and I don’t know why it took so long.. I pushed it to my limit, till my soul said enough and gave me an emotional drunken meltdown that would scare me so much , it was this path or the other one… At that point it’s quite easy , once you choose and I was always going to come back to my soul… I am so glad that part of my life is done and lessons learnt and I am here with you.. You are truth to me and to me truth is a deepest value and deepest respect, which I have for you and this program… So from my soul to your soul please feel the friday night love of truth xxx Can’t beat it.” J, Online Course Member, UK

“All is good. Rock solid in sobriety from alcohol and smoking. Resisting sugar urges more and more often.
Meditating and consciously trying to stay in a State of Love.
Having real conversations with people, it feels more meaningful. I feel a shift. I have a clearer vision for my future and I’m really excited about it……I’m still being told I look great and I am obviously putting out a different/higher vibe than I used to. It’s so much easier now, 5 months on, to be observant of my thoughts and replace the negative ones as soon as I notice them with happier thoughts. It’s easier to be kind and patient with myself. I still get urges and triggers and annoyed.. but I can cope with it. Mediation, this group, your comments, love and support, and recalling your stories and suggestions, is what has made this possible. Thank you and much love to everyone. xx ” D, Online Programme and Residential Retreat, UK

” I joined the Quantum Sobriety Group in February of this year. My addiction was sugar and I am an emotional eater. My problems began when I was 11 years old at Secondary school, I was picked on by a girl and emotionally bullied. This bullying affected my confidence and up until about 4 years ago I never told anyone about the bullying, I kept it a secret. Nobody knew about my issues with how I felt about myself, I didn’t love myself, I felt fat and ugly, I hid it all under my ‘bubbly exterior’ laughing lots and over compensating. I met Jo Da Rosa a few years ago when she was teaching yoga and meditation in Hertfordshire. I have attended a few retreats at Inner Guidance in Suffolk and when Jo announced the ‘Quantum Sobriety Group’ I enquired if it would be good for me and my issues with food. I joined the group and it has been eight amazing months, don’t get me wrong there have been some ups and downs over those 5 months. My biggest achievement is that I am now 5 months sugar free. My tastes for sweet things have changed, I used to look at the pudding menu first when I went out to eat and use to have pick and mix at the cinema. The thought of eating something like this now makes me feel ill. I now make amazing raw chocolate brownies as a lovely healthy treat.

I had a huge emotional shift last week that I really want to share with anybody that has issues with emotional eating. I had a bad day at work, I had a huge disagreement with someone, this would have normally been a huge trigger for me to want sugar or to overeat on rubbish. I decided to walk away from the situation and I went back to my desk. I did make some raw chocolate brownies the night before and had one with me at work, for a second I did think about eating the brownie, but something in me resisted and I decided NO I am not going to eat it as it would be to comfort myself because I was feeling angry/upset. I decided to go for a walk, I cleared my head and came back feeling empowered. A couple of hours later I ate my brownie with a cup of chai tea and really enjoyed it knowing that I was not eating it as a fix to an emotion that I was feeling.

None of this would have been possible without Quantum Sobriety, having the Facebook community to reach out to has been amazing, I posted on the group last week and shared my shift with the emotional eating. Along with the Facebook Community the meditation practice has helped me centre myself and calm any triggers that may come up. If you are struggling with an addiction no matter what that is, Alcohol, Drugs, Food etc, I highly recommend this group to you. It has been life changing for me, it has opened my eyes up and I can truly say that I love myself now inside and out. Go for it, open your mind and heart to the Quantum, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. “
Theresa, Online Programme, UK