Day 99
Drunk At Breakfast
It’s 7am and we’ve checked our bags in and have settled down for breakfast while we wait for our flight. We tend to always choose earlier flights as we’re both up early everyday anyway and it’s good to just get there, right?
And it’s always the same.
People drinking copious amounts for breakfast ‘because they’re on holiday’
And even though it’s probably not even their normal breakfast time, for some reason all of the airport pubs are packed and the champagne bar is filled with genteel couples celebrating their travels.
They’ll all have a hangover halfway through their flight (if they don’t carry on drinking which i’m sure many will) and realise what a stupid idea it was to have a few glasses of wine at 7am. And i’ve been there believe me; so drunk on a flight that the captain had to come to the back of the aircraft to ask the group I was drinking with (complete strangers) to keep the noise down as it was a night flight and everyone was trying to sleep. The stewardesses had repeatedly asked us to pipe down but we were having too much fun with the free booze.
I stumbled off the plane and realised when I got to baggage reclaim that i’d forgotten a bag and had to walk all the way back to where I had just got off to retrieve it. And I only remember this in patches as I really was very close to comatose. The person that was picking me up at the airport was not best pleased I can tell you, quite rightly.
All of these memories have come pouring in as I look around the departure lounge watching drunken behaviour at breakfast. I’m shocked at how acceptable this really is, and the numbers that are joining in, and todays blog really is about letting you know how different I am now and how you really can change your reality to the point that you simply just do not want to join in this damaging game any longer.
Whenever I travel I prepare food to take with me. We’ve had three nights in London which means a huge box of organic salad has travelled with us and the remnants of that will accompany vegan lunch on the plane (don’t want to rely solely on this!)
The point that I’d really like to make here is of PREPARATION
The veg didn’t wash itself and jump in the bag
The nuts didn’t get purchased on their own
You’ve got to have a plan to eat healthily and not get pulled into old patterns of drinking / drugging / binge-eating.
Many QS members report that airports and travelling are huge triggers for them, just like Christmas is for others. So get prepared, know what you’re going to eat at the airport; what you’re going to drink on Christmas day, and don’t get caught up with the ‘celebrations’ and end up in a semi-conscious state, all in the name of fun.
Day 100
Be really careful what you say, this happened yesterday.
Dom and I are on our annual trip to Guatemala (that’s why there was no blog yesterday because I’ve been in the air and without internet) and yesterday made the final leg of the trip from the Guatemala city to Lake Atitlan. The drive is three hours long and we pass stunning scenery along the way, including three volcanoes. As we passed one of them Dom casually said to me,
“What would you do if that volcano started erupting?”
I replied,
“Sh*t myself, and
then take a photo”
And then literally ten minutes later I turned around and looked out of the back window of the taxi and the frigging volcano was erupting! Dom and I looked at each other with our jaws literally on the ground (neither of us have ever seen a volcano erupting before, and lets face it, who has?!) and started furiously taking photos. Nobody on the streets seemed to have noticed and as we were driving away from the scene there was nothing that we could do
“I manifested that didn’t I?”
Said Dom.
And he absolutely did.
Our words hold such power; literal messages that we send out into the universe, a cosmic wish that the quantum listens to and responds by rearranging atoms to appear as we have ordered.
So what language are you using
What messages are you signaling with your beliefs, thoughts and words?
And are you even AWARE of any of this?
If you have somebody in your life that is also intereted in this conversation then why don’t you ask them to tell you what your self-talk is really like, because quite often our behaviour is so engrained that we don’t even realise what we are sying.
Try and catch what you say today.
Do you put yourself down?
Would you speak to your friends the way you speak to yourself?
It is quite shocking sometimes when we become aware of just how derogatory our self-talk is.
And of course drinking, drugging, and eating crap food is giving out this negative message through our actions. For when there is self-love it hurts to harm yourself in this way any longer; meaning that learning to take care of yourself is the key to freedom in sobriety.
Day 101
Confession Time.
The last 10 days haven’t been ‘normal’ for me with a horrible sickness that has knocked me for six, and even though I’m feeling much better I am still left with a nasty cough and a general feeling of not being quite back to my normal high energied self.
I’m not used to being unwell, usually up at 5:30am and going all day until 10 at night, and what all of this means is that I have a confession to make:
I haven’t meditated for a week
I haven’t exercised for a week
A confession because this blog is all about the importance of both and to be honest it feels so naughty because it hasn’t happened for a number of years (because I’m so rarely ill and that would be the only reason for me to stray away from my routine).
However there is always a silver-lining; a lesson; a learning to be had from every situation. I believe we are given them to stretch us and make us look where we normally wouldn’t for answers to some of the questions we ask.
One of the questions that many of my clients ask me in the beginning is,
“I can’t get into meditation”
And this is exactly what I have faced for the first time in many years; getting back into my practice after a one week break. And boy has it been an interesting journey!
Whilst feeling really poorly I was in total victim mode,
“I feel ill”
“I am weak”
“I can’t do anything for myself”
Of course in that state I am not going to get better because the message I’m giving out to the quantum is one of victim. So I get more of the same: more weakness; more illness; more fatigue.
And my clients are wanting to stop drinking/drugging/binging but say things like,
“I want to stop but it’s so hard”
“I get so many triggers to eat/drink/drug”
“Why is it so difficult”
These comments and mine above are spoken when on a downward spiral and finding it difficult to take that first step up.
THE FIRST STEP IS BY FAR THE HARDEST
But you’ve got, at some point, to take it.
Make the leap of faith.
And then more often that not a feeling of,
“Well that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be!”
And so it all changed on Friday morning
I took the leap
I MEDITATED AGAIN
Only for half the time I usually do
And at some point during those minutes something clicked and I literally felt myself shed the victim skin and smiled to myself, KNOWING that I just turned the corner, I just took back control.
It was a totally liberating feeling.
I was home.
And with renewed compassion to those starting out on their meditation journey, taking the first tentative steps towards freedom and inner peace.
And then yesterday I did some yoga which also felt amazing. This poor achy body really needed it after such a long break and I’m left with such an appreciation for my daily routine which is firmly back in place!
Day 102
Want To Permanently Change Your Brain?
Wow what a response from yesterdays blog! Thank you so much for all of the well-wisher comments.
The reason that I posted about not meditating or exercising for a week is to show that this blog is totally authentic and a place where I bare my soul. On some level I know that what I am going through others must too, so sharing my insights along the way will be guiding others towards less struggle. I had many people comment that they were ‘surprised’ that I hadn’t meditated for a week with one comment sticking out in particular for me, however, and i’d like to embellish on the subject:
“You are the last person I expected to go through this god awful stage of having to start again”
Thankfully that is not the case, yes I’ve had a break and it took a couple of days to get back into the swing of it, but ‘start again’ was not what had to happen. You see meditation changes your brain PERMANENTLY. So the many hours that I’ve committed to my cushion over the years has had a lasting effect meaning that it was really EASY to get back to a ‘normal’ meditation on the third day (yesterday, and it was frigging epic!).
We meditate not to purely become ‘good’ at it but because it changes our perception on EVERYTHING. And because our perception shifts we begin to make different choices to what we would have chosen in the past, and our life transforms before our eyes.
I know that in the past it probably would have taken me much longer to get back into my daily routine with excuses and ‘tomorrows’ left right and centre. But now that I know the importance of meditation; how it quite literally keeps me connected to my truth, I am itching to get back on my cushion!
Day One: I was fidgety and only lasted half my usual time
Day Two: I was actually even more distracted than the day before!
Day Three: (yesterday) Back to my full length meditation and it was AMAZING
It only took me a few days to:
GET BACK TO WHERE I LEFT OFF
Nothing lost
Everything to gain
So get on your cushion today, breath into your heart and connect with truth.
Find your breath and steady your mind.
With every single meditation making changes in your brain, can you afford not to?
And more importantly, why wouldn’t you want to improve your life?
Day 103
A Banquet Of Drama.
Yesterday we had our first cacao ceremony (this year) with the Chocolate Shaman in Guatemala, and it did not disappoint. We first met him a little over three years ago at our retreat centre when he was on a world tour and we were blown away by the chocolate and him back then, and he just seems to get better and better every time we journey with him.
He loves QS and many of the meditations on the online course are inspired by the meditations that I’ve personally been taken on by him.
The Chocolate Shaman knows EXACTLY what to say and when to say it to give you whatever upgrade you need in that moment.
He began yesterdays group session talking to someone about their ‘banquet of drama’ that they were right in the middle of and I immediately thought how this describes the addictive cycle so perfectly.
We walk into a room and sit down at the table laden with drama, and begin to consume it because that is what we’ve always been told we must do.
“Life is difficult”
“Nothing is easy”
“Sobriety is boring”
“Life will never be the same again”
“You’ll always want a drink/drugs/crappy food”
“You’re missing out”
And so the lies and drama goes on.
And we believe it because we’re told to.
We’re not supposed to break free running out of the banquet to find freedom from it, we are told to suffer.
So we do.
Over and over again.
Banquet after banquet, totally gorged on the drama.
And the thing is that the drama is safe, it’s a place we know so well:
“I don’t want to drink anymore, this is it, it’s over”
“Oh go on then, just one”
The ultimate addicted paradox.
Sobriety is not a safe place for us yet.
It’s unknown territory.
A land which terrifies us, so we return yet again to the table and feast some more on the beast.
We feel wretched though.
This is not our truth.
And something is calling, a new voice, and it comes from deep within us.
Yet we don’t trust it yet, it’s weak and wavering.
And then something happens.
Someone gives us permission to walk away from what we’ve always known, and we begin to listen and then gain confidence to live a new way.
No more banquets of drama.
The tide has turned.
We simply just do not need it anymore…..
If you would like to purchase the Chocolate Shamans cacao we have a shipment of it on route to the UK and you can pre-order it here. Fingers crossed that we can have it to you for Christmas too.
Day 104
Breaking Away From The Energetic Scar Tissue.
Oh this pesky cough, it persists!
And deep within yesterdays meditation I connected with it and asked it what I needed to learn. Then many minutes later, once I had let go of any outcome it came to me, the answer.
And it made sense, like lots of different pieces all coming together.
For I had, a few days ago in meditation, been given the words ‘energetic scar-tissue’ and I knew in that moment I was releasing old deep buried stuff. Like an internal skin that was at last truly ready to be shed. Each cough a loosening of the old scar-tissue, a breaking away, and finally a release.
What I feel in the air for all of us is a certain ripening of karma.
Many are really suffering right now, much worse than my pesky cough, but what this means is that WE ARE READY. The harder that you’re suffering right now the more there is at stake, and perhaps the bigger the prize at the end. So can you shift your thinking that way and realise that BECAUSE you are suffering it means that the quantum has something in store for you and is TESTING your resolve.
Are you strong enough to cope with these new energies?
Will you give up?
Or will you push through knowing that there is a new life waiting for you in the next chapter, one that promises freedom, happiness and the best health imaginable.
And do you know what as soon as I got my ‘answer’ that pesky cough began to subside, all of a sudden its intensity diminished, its purpose understood. I didn’t need it any longer, it had served its purpose. And once again I feel totally free….
Tomorrow: So what can you do to cope when it gets really tough?
Day 105
What You Can Do To Cope When It Gets Really Bad.
Back in 2008 I went to see HH Dalai Lama in Nottingham and sat through days of teachings. Then I travelled by car with a couple of nuns up to Samye Ling Monastery in Scotland where I spent a further few days in teachings with Ringu Tulku and took my precepts (Buddhist vows).
On the way home I started to feel pain and over the next week became very ill. I ended up in hospital with a burst abdominal cyst and had to stay in hospital after my bladder was damaged during an operation. I’ve never been so poorly and it took months to recover, but what I knew was that being in the presence of such enlightened teachers ripened my karma and that illness cleared a whole load of ‘stuff’ out.
I feel something similar happening to all of us right now, but we don’t need the masters to bring this up; it’s happening whether we like it or not. Time is speeding up, energies are becoming more intense, and I believe this will continue to happen over the course of the next nine year cycle.
So what can you do to ease the process?
The answer is: MEDITATE
When we sit with ourselves and tap into who we are we come into alignment and can cope.
It’s when we’re up in our heads flailing around all over the place that it’s difficult.
When we’re there we feel separated and try to ‘fix’ our world externally to ourselves when in fact the ONLY way we can cope is to do the inner work.
We have a choice: this process can be easy or it can be a massive struggle.
And only we can decide.
When we take back our power and begin to control our inner world then EASE is what we will experience. Our foot is taken off the gas and we sit back and watch as it all unfolds as it’s supposed to when we are in alignment with our soul. But what I predict is that the polarity between those that choose the struggle and us who decide on ease will become more apparent, and it’s difficult to watch others struggle but it is our responsibility to wake up and lead the way. Those in this community are leading others towards freedom, and I hope you will join us in a life of ease and flow. And the really crazy thing is that if you are struggling right now with work, relationship, addiction or health this just may be the wake-up call you need to turn your life around!
Member Quote’s Of The Week.
In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum:
“QS was the “tipping point” for me. I had already started meditation and yoga and I wanted more but I was scared, alone and unsure. QS flicked a switch in me, pointed me to the path and held me as I took tentative steps. After 3 months I was able to say “I am enough”. After 6 months I could deal with trauma and I was able to self soothe without the use of external substances. At 9 months others noticed a calmness and contentment in me and wanted to know more. Someone close to me started their own recovery journey, my heart was in awe. At nearly one year on I am able to feel gratitude in adversity and to share this with an ever expanding community of like minded souls. Jo, you were the catalyst for me, you started a chain of consciousness in those around me and for that I will be eternally grateful x” Sarah, Residential Retreat and Online Programme, UK
“Thanks Jo for giving us such a great toolbox to work through our emotions” J, Online Programme, UK
“QS has transformed me into a better person. I now love myself and I no longer let food control me, I have more confidence and strength now, this allows me to live my life and be happy. Life is too short to suffer in silence do something amazing today change your life join this group and be part of am amazing community of people who are there for you. You too can be addiction free!!” T, Online Programme, UK
The crippling anger & frustration I felt daily regarding the injustice foisted upon me.
I meditate regularly and calmness has replaced the anger.
🙂 I don’t have to be trapped in this prison any longer, I will not kid myself any longer ! I can not be like the others . I have an addiction . I am willing to free myself” Z, Online Programme, UK