I really do believe that we are the lucky ones us addicts, for we have the potential for greatness. Life for us is either black or white; using or clean; high or low; and we have a decision to make = all or nothing.
On the other hand those that we often wish to be; the elusive ‘social drinker’ / ‘social user’, does not get this opportunity and will be forever trapped in the cycle of consumption of a poison. So can you flip this belief on its head and begin to see that in fact WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES? That in fact it is us that holds the key to incomprehensible (right now) expansion!
I have lived on both sides of the fence and can categorically state:
The Grass IS Greener Over On The Sober Side
For it’s pretty shit when you are stuck in the cycle of substance abuse; knowing that you don’t want to be doing something, yet going back to it over and over again. Like a toxic relationship that you know is not healthy but are unable to extract yourself from (I’ve been there a number of times too), our lives are controlled by something else.
As I said yesterday “the energy I used to spend on my addiction I now direct to my good health” and us addicts are STRONG. We are so motivated to use and when we finally realise this and harness this energy, guiding it instead into a positive rather than destroying ourselves, we have got the most amazing opportunity to live from our hearts.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself that you can never take another drink and fully embrace the fact that YOU have actually been chosen for something much greater than everyone else….
Are We There Yet?
We have been taught that this journey is a tough one, and so we wait and expect the struggle as we take our last drink / line / sweet. And then BAM! it hits us; the ure, the compulsion, the desire to use again.
And now we are at a junction
One where we can only turn either left or right
Left takes us deeper into the struggle, it’s a place filled with those that are ‘trying’ not to have another drink / line / cake. Everyone is talking here about how difficult it is; sharing their wounded stories of craving and hardship.
Right however is a new path, one where rather than wishing you were still drinking / using / bingeing and viewing yourself as WHO YOU USED TO BE, you instead:
Embrace Who You Are About To Become
So who do you want to be?
What do you want to become?
What would it FEEL like to be there already?
What will you be SAYING when you get there?
And do you know what, all of that is already part of you; inside somewhere waiting to be heard, believed and lived. So when the next urge comes you have a choice, will you be turning left or right?
Yes, YOU Deserve It.
You didn’t think I was talking to someone else did you? You didn’t think that Freedom in Sobriety was reserved only for others did you? Or perhaps you have been thinking like this up until now?
Well I am going to set the record straight; we ALL have unlimited potential and the capacity to change our lives for the better. There isn’t a higher power or God who looks down and decides that some can have it and other can’t. Ultimately what it boils down to is that we ALL have it in us and the only thing that separates those that succeed from those that don’t is MINDSET.
What are your BELIEFS around addiction?
Your BELIEFS around yourself?
Your BELIEFS around what is possible in life?
That is the ONLY thing that is different about us. I do believe and if you are still stuck on the merry-go-round of addiction you don’t believe 100% yet. But you have the potential to, and this is fantastic news!!
So, are you yet ready to quantum leap?
But Why Couldn’t I Stop?
I stopped drinking in October 2011 whilst I was writing my first book and honestly thought i’d cracked it.
Then in May 2012 Dom and I went on honeymoon and I had ‘just one’ because it was a ‘special occasion’. I controlled my drinking over the two weeks of holiday because I didn’t want to ruin my honeymoon, and thought I could control it once I got home once more. However, that didn’t quite pan out as the drink demon had reawakened I went into six months of bingeing. In fact my drinking was even worse and I was consuming higher levels of alcohol than ever before.
Couple this with the shame of my book being launched which was all about my ‘success in sobriety’, and I felt like a fraud.
And it was the shame that added so much weight to the burden I was already carrying and seemed to make it even more difficult to stop.
All of the reasons for sobriety pilling on top of me;
I knew I wanted to stop
I knew I could do it
I knew how to do it
I didn’t want to be the drunk yoga teacher anymore
I didn’t want to be sending drunk messages on my phone or on Facebook
I knew I was better than this
I was about to have my book published
BUT WHY COULDN’T I STOP?
And I was like a pressure cooker, my top about to explode, all of this stress has to go somewhere, and I knew that something was about to happen…..
…..and it did.
It happened at the absolute last minute.
I had my final ever drink 12 days before my booked launched.
That was 1,422 days ago and next month I will be celebrating four years of sobriety. I know categorically that I will never drink again because now I see it for what it is: A TRAP
And I don’t want to be put in a trap anymore.
No more hamster wheel; doing something that you don’t want to be doing and feeling that you can’t stop doing it.
That has gone.
I am free.
And the reason that I could finally do it became clear to me.
All of a sudden I became aware of the bigger picture:
It Wasn’t Just About Me Any Longer.
I realised that my sobriety had a hugely positive effect on many people, and although it was myself I was letting down by drinking I was also cutting others off too. Just think, these emails wouldn’t be coming to you everyday if I was still drinking; my words of sober ‘wisdom’ would be laughed at if I was still drinking.
NO ONE ELSE COULD BE SUPPORTED
And it was this one realisation that changed it for me; I recognised that if I didn’t step up into the sober future that I had visualised in my meditation, then I wasn’t embracing my purpose.
I was literally stunting my growth.