We have it all back to front; we go through life putting everyone else first, and then wonder why we are stressed, tired, anxious and resentful. Giving from an empty cup does this and it’s easy to get angry, lash out and say “f*ck it I need a drink”.
The times I look on Facebook and see a stressed out mum say,
“Ggggrrrrr the kids have played up today, thank god it’s wine o’clock”
“Oh I really need this tonight”
When what they really need is to fill that empty cup up and look after themselves.
This is the chain of events when we take that drink which we falsely believe is ‘helping’ us and calming us:
- Drink a glass of wine =
- A toxin is now in your body =
- Your body is now on red alert and stops all digestion from happening so that it can deal with getting this poison out first =
- Intoxication; you have taken yourself away from reality, away from your loved ones; you have stuck two fingers up at your life =
- Body goes into dehydration =
- Your brain shrinks =
- You are now in a highly acidic state and craving all sorts of rubbish food of which you have no control over consuming =
- YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF, YOU’VE CHANGED INTO SOMEONE ELSE
When I look back on this I can see that what I was actually doing was running away from standing up and dealing with my problems. I eagerly turned into this ‘other’ person who I could hide behind and pretend that x, y and z wasn’t happening. However x, y and z was always still there once the booze wore off and I still had to deal with it at some point if I were to move on.
In this way we are extending our torture and CHOOSING to live in hell rather than heaven on earthSo we’ve got to get to the feelings that are underneath, take care of ourselves so that our cup is always FULL. Have a level of connection, through meditation, straight to our feelings so that we can act on the warning signals BEFORE the triggers take hold.
And each of us are different in ways we can fill our cups up. Mine starts with an early night and good nights sleep, which leads to waking up refreshed, which leads to good choices first thing of journalling, meditating and exercise. Then I want to have a healthy breakfast, and my day snowballs positively from there.
From that splendid start you can deal with the small issues as they come up during the day, you are strong and ready for the bullets. In fact nothing can touch you from this place because you are ready for all of life. There can be no f*ck it moments from here because you are full of self-love and self-worth. And not only that; it is now actually overflowing from you and because you are in such a good place your loved ones can see you are strong and happy rather than about to break and they respond differently to you.
You have just had an effect on them simply from your attitude to yourself.
** Can you comprehend the power in that **
NO WORDS EVEN NEED TO BE SAID
It all comes from the fact that you prioritised yourself and your feelings.
Your experience will be reflected back to you in the form of what you see externally, directly from your beliefs.
You are screaming inside = your kids will play that our externally
You are fighting with your partner in your head = your partner will shout at you and confirm what you were playing out
You are crying out for a drink/cake/line = someone will physically offer it to
CHANGE THE STORY
CHANGE YOUR FREQUENCY
PRIORITSE YOUR FEELINGS
*this blog was first published in December 2016
Member Quote Of The Day.
In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum: