This week I’ve been looking back at this past year, and of birthdays further back than that, and doing a kind of mini review of all of my previous birthdays….
1989 – 2007
Birthdays in this period were drug fuelled; it was a time to get hammered; of excess; of staying up as late (or as early) as possible. If I were to get home before dawn i’d be disappointed, and the hangovers were days long. Back then I would be dancing for 12 hours straight so no wonder I found it difficult to keep my weight over six stone. What I pummelled my body with for so many years shocks me now and the higher I could get, the better birthday I was having.
2007 – 2012
During these years I celebrated by consuming huge amounts of alcohol, with the evenings always ending with either tears or an argument. Was I intolerant to this substance which turned me from a calm happy person into a monster, or is that what happens to everyone? I find it shocking thinking back to how little regard for my body and mental health I had, and the words I would use at the time are equally distressing,
“Lets get smashed”
“I can’t wait to get hammered”
“I’m getting bladdered tonight”
I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I don’t have to do that to myself any longer! These words ‘smashed, hammered and bladdered’ are no longer in my life vocabulary 🙂
2013 – 2015
Finally I have my first EVER sober birthday as I turn 41 in 2013. It’s taken me all of this time to get to this point. I can look back and remember around 1996 when I took my very first step out of addiction as I began my quest to stop smoking. It actually took me until 2006 to shake the addiction completely, for I had no idea back then how my mind worked and how I could set myself free. 2013 2014 and 2015 birthdays were all about food! With Dom making me gorgeous clean and healthy birthday cakes, and getting to bed before midnight. Life had finally slowed down and I enjoyed the calm pace of sobriety; for me these last few years have not been boring, for this is real love for self; the best gift I could give myself and I am revelling in this love.
So as I sit in my morning writing spot and review this last year, I comprehend the next gigantic shift that has taken place for I have done something this year that I have never done before.
Every single birthday up until this one has been a license to have a lie-in and get up as late as I want. However this year it’s completely different; it’s the very first year I’ve ever seen 5am 6am 7am or even 8am!
My alarm has gone off the same time as usual.
I am jumping out of bed to get this amazing day started.
Why would I want to waste it asleep?
I knew I wanted to write this blog; it’s been bubbling up inside me all week as I have been playing out all of my 44 birthdays up until TODAY.
I love the feeling of empowerment that my beautiful morning routine gives me:
An hour of blogging
An hour of meditation
An hour of exercise
A high vibe breakfast
Now I don’t like to start my day any other way, and have become accustomed to waking just before my alarm at 5:30 and the days that I don’t set it (one day per week) and allow my body the extra rest if it wants it, I am on the back foot all day; forever trying to ‘catch up’ with myself. And that is certainly NOT how I wanted this birthday to feel….
Life gets better and better when you begin to put yourself first and listen to what works for you. The journey within and further towards your true self is an exciting and authentic one; none of us are going to be having the same experience and none of us should be trying to have someone else’s.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
Try out different things for size.
Listen to your inner voice.
I know for some a 5:30 alarm six days per week is not ideal, but for me right now it is.
I love it, and I love my life.
This is truly going to be the happiest most in tune with myself birthday ever.
And it is this connected energy that I am taking forth into this next birth year.
I’m excited about where the coming year is going to take me because I’ve never started one off in such a positive way. It’s 7:00 here currently and I’ve finished my hour of writing and it’s time for my hour of meditation, what absolute bliss.
Have a great day.
Have a wonderful year.
And do something TODAY for yourself; something that makes you smile, feel warm, happy and glad to be alive.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!